Kink Kollective

Category: Storytelling

  • Yule, Chosen Family and Kinky Konnections

    Yule, Chosen Family and Kinky Konnections

    What has Yule, chosen family and kinky storytelling got in common? Konnection. And this is how.

    Yule, is a winter solstice celebration rooted in pagan tradition, marks the turning point of the darkest nights to lighter days. Pagan rituals, including gathering around the Yule log and sharing warmth in communal feasts, were designed to honour nature, provoke introspection, and reinforce the bonds between individuals and community. The traditions included singing, storytelling, and gift-giving and were notoriously co-oped by Christianity which led to the customs we know more widely today.

    Chosen or found family is a concept rooted in history, literature, and lived experience. It refers to the deep kinship bonds intentionally formed between individuals who aren’t related by blood, but who come together through mutual care, shared values, and emotional support, particularly when biological families may not provide these connections.

    Many strong communities, from ancient societies to modern LGBTQ circles, have emulated this bond through mutual reliance and trust. For instance, Greek society recognised friendships as equally strong as blood relations, creating networks that supported their culture and individual wellbeing.​

    Storytelling lies at the heart of what makes found family celebrations meaningful during the festive period. Sharing personal tales across generations binds people in legacy and affection, whether the stories are about overcoming hardship, celebrating joy, or remembering those no longer present.

    These moments offer a space for laughter, tears, and reflection, inviting everyone at the table to contribute and connect in a tapestry of shared history. This practice is especially resonant for those who have formed chosen families—offering belonging and understanding at a time when the pressures of tradition can feel especially acute.

    At Kink Kollective, storytelling is at the centre of our kommunity. Over the past year, we’ve cultivated a space for open sharing about identity, queerness, and the experience of chosen family. Our events celebrate everyone’s unique journey and the joy of building family through love and acceptance.

    As we mark one year of storytelling together, we honour those connections that sustain us—and invite you to join us as we use stories to support mental health, belonging, and genuine festive cheer.

    Book your tickets here.

    Christmas tree drawing with butt plug and paddle decorations

    References

    1. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chosen_family
    2. https://websites.emerson.edu/undergraduate-students-publishing/2022/10/28/history-popularity-of-the-found-family-trope/
    3. https://sites.owu.edu/engblog/2023/04/04/the-found-family-in-a-a-milnes-winnie-the-pooh-by-syd-mcmillin/
    4. https://www.centreofexcellence.com/pagan-yule/
    5. https://christandpopculture.com/holy-night-pagan-rite-how-christianity-transformed-yuletide/
    6. https://publicsquaremag.org/faith/holidays/holiday-storytelling-ideas-family-bonding/
    7. https://www.nypl.org/blog/2020/12/09/found-family-literature-celebrates-families-choice
    8. https://www.johnmillen.com/blog/discover-your-family-stories-during-the-holidays
    9. https://www.indiependent.co.uk/a-deep-dive-into-tropes-found-family/
    10. https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC8066340/
    11. https://allymalinenko.com/2017/08/23/band-of-brothers-the-found-family-trope-and-why-it-makes-me-cry/
    12. https://www.babipur.co.uk/blogs/blog/12-days-of-yuletide-celebrations
    13. https://thequilltolive.com/2021/12/24/five-stories-about-found-family-for-your-holiday-tbr/
    14. https://atboundarysedge.com/2019/05/19/a-troublesome-trope-my-issue-with-found-families/
    15. https://www.britannica.com/topic/Yule-festival
    16. https://writersaresuperstars.substack.com/p/christmas-romcoms-and-learning-from
    17. https://thebusypagan.com/pagan-holidays/yule/
    18. https://momadvice.com/post/found-family-books
    19. https://www.moonfallmetaphysical.com/s/stories/yule
    20. https://www.thebooksmugglers.com/2016/12/trope-anatomy-101-choose-family.html
  • Spanking Stigma: The Positive Power of Shared Kinky Stories

    Spanking Stigma: The Positive Power of Shared Kinky Stories

    In the flickering light of ancient campfires, our ancestors spun tales of hunts, battles, and mythical beasts. These stories etched into cave walls or whispered through generations, were not just entertainment; they were rich threads in the tapestry of human existence.

    As storytelling evolved from spoken word and carvings to scrolls, then to the printing press and digital formats, these narratives shaped cultures, preserved wisdom, and guided us through life’s complexities. The art of storytelling has served as our teacher, our entertainer, and our bridge across time and space, allowing us to step into the shoes of others and deepen our connection with the human experience.

    In exploring the often misunderstood world of kink, storytelling can open up hidden worlds, remove stigma and, expand understanding and empathy.

    Why Kink-Positive Storytelling Matters

    The sex and kink-positive communities are increasingly being censored online, on social media platforms, in search results, and even generative AI models such as Claude and Google’s Gemini restrict the content they will work with. Spaces, events, and alternative platforms that promote kink-positive content are becoming more valuable than ever.

    When I started my Kink Kollective, small discussion groups and using prompt cards to explore our kinks, I could see how people wanted to examine their kink identity. There was an appetite for seeking validation for our existing desires and practice but also connecting deeper to what others gain from kinks we know less about.

    It made me think about what more we could do to normalize and humanize healthy kink practice, especially from a queer perspective. Having been to storytelling events and open mics and feeling validated by a great number of things in my life; neurodivergence, gender equality, sexuality — there was one thing missing: my kink.

    A Piece in Our Kinksploration Puzzle

    Munches are perfect for socialising with your community; dress-up and play events are where we put our desires into practice. Talks and workshops connect us with experts and thought leaders. But what about the space in between? What about creating space to reflect on what we learn and experience at those events? Storytelling is a practical, liberating activity which can further validate our identity.

    A Catalyst for Community and Personal Growth

    When I attended my first open mic poetry event in a queer-friendly space, it was a sharp awakening. The energy of solidarity merged and gave me a solid “power-up” leaving the space. I felt seen and heard.

    In that moment, storytelling was a catalyst for my personal growth. But also my community around me.

    For the storyteller, sharing our stories can help us:

    • Find empowerment and agency: taking control of narratives allows individuals to reclaim their experiences and express themselves authentically. This is particularly crucial for those from marginalized communities who may have felt silenced or shamed.
    • Experience personal growth: reflecting on and sharing personal journeys can be incredibly validating and lead to new insights and self-discovery.
    • Develop skills: crafting and sharing stories hones communication skills, boosts creativity, and builds confidence.

    For the audience, these stories:

    • Forge emotional connections: hearing personal stories creates empathy and allows for a deeper understanding of the diverse spectrum of human experience.
    • Enhance engagement: authentic narratives captivate audiences and create memorable experiences that linger long after the event.
    • Offer learning and perspective: By sharing diverse viewpoints, kink-positive storytelling challenges stereotypes and broadens perspectives.

    Furthermore, these types of events strengthen community by:

    • Building stronger social ties: shared experiences foster connection and trust amongst community members.
    • Creating a collective identity: individual stories weave together to form a tapestry of shared values and experiences, strengthening our sense of belonging.
    • Increasing awareness: storytelling can shed light on the challenges and triumphs faced by the kink community, promoting acceptance and understanding.
    Kinky Storytelling — Author’s Own Image

    Ready to Share Your Story? Here’s How!

    1. Reflect and capture: Ask yourself what kink experience has impacted you? Perhaps a memorable first-time encounter, a moment of profound connection, or a journey of self-discovery. Any story that resonates with you and feels safe to share is perfect.

    2. Craft Your Narrative: Structure your story with a beginning, middle, and end. Consider using vivid language and sensory details to bring your experience to life.

    3. Practice Makes Perfect: Rehearse your story aloud to get comfortable with the flow and timing.

    4. Embrace Vulnerability: Authenticity is key. Be honest and open, allowing your personality to shine through.

    5. Join us for a storytelling event!